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How my Anxiety turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me

I feel I am very lucky as I have experienced many wonderful things in my life, I have travelled extensively, I have started several businesses and had many successes and a fair few spectacular failures.

Throughout my life I knew was there was something not quite right.
I came from a home with a broken marriage, and one of my earliest memories of childhood is my Dad telling my Mum he wanted a divorce and me standing there wondering, what the hell is a divorce?

I was very fortunate to have a fantastic mum however, I know from that day things changed for me and although I didn’t realise it I was carrying some serious emotional baggage.

This is the part of the story where I tell you how I worked with a coach and how they helped me to discover that there was much more to my life and that my story did not define who I am. You know the story….. a full life transformation as I strolled off into the sunset, trained as a therapist and started a thriving practice helping others. 

And yes this is sort of true….but there is more…..

Through various things that happened early on in life, I became an absorber, a people pleaser, the guy that always liked to say YES.

At the time my coping strategy was to make sure I felt popular and liked. Little did I know that my behaviour created a great deal of anxiety and worry for me, it also created so many problems in other areas of my life. 

Over time my behaviour patterns contributed to the failure of a marriage, a spectacular business failure and dire financial issues.

My thoughts led me to let down and disappoint the people I loved most and at the time I thought there was nothing I could do about it.

You see my behaviour trait had followed me through my school years, my teenage years and into my adult life.

A few key moments in my life sparked off my a lot of unwanted behaviours.

21 years ago, something was wrong, very wrong. I was feeling really ill and after days and days of ignoring numerous symptoms I ended up in hospital. 

It turned out that I had thrombosis – a rather serious condition, I can remember the moment the doctor told me that if the blood clot had made its way to my heart I could have died. 

I was shocked and confused. It’s weird because I remember thinking at that moment, OK, I could have died but I didn’t, I was rather matter of fact about it and didn’t get overly emotional.

The hospital assured me that I was now totally okay. I felt I was together and dealing with it, and that I would be totally fine.

Thing is I wasn’t fine!

At the time I did not realise it but I had battled anxiety and worry issues for a large chunk of my life, but things were about to go to a whole new level.

I remember one day, boarding a first class long haul flight, I stood in the queue waiting to board the plane and my world started falling apart.

I thought to myself, you are going to die on this flight and all these people are going to see it happen. I was experiencing the most intense anxiety and panic and I felt very much alone with it, my thoughts were racing and my inner voice was screaming to me, “You are completely alone in this, you’ve got to get on this flight and it’s going to be hell.” 

Walking onto that plane felt like a death sentence.

The next eight hours were possibly the worst of my life as I watched that little map in the headrest, that little plane icon slowly moved plotting our progress. I was completely freaking out and was looking for anything to reassure me.

Back at homeI became the master pretender. Always appearing to be having fun and happy, yet on the inside, it was a total contrast ugly and dark and I was really struggling, the only way I could cope with it was to numb it out. To not allow myself to feel anything.

The anxiety and stress that had been locked in my head for so long finally exploded, and it manifested itself in horrific anxiety, worry, over thinking and panic attacks and really weird thoughts that freaked me out.

I spent many more years being okay but not really okay, putting on an act and ‘getting through’. To the world everything looked alright on the surface, I started several businesses and managed to pay the bills, I went on holidays but I still felt empty and my anxiety was out of control.

And this is the point of my story where I started to look for the answers

I knew I had no control over my thoughts but they had absolute control over me. My thoughts defined how I felt.

Having overcome many personal issues in my own life, I am a living example of the capacity for change we all hold within us. My achievements in overcoming anxiety and low self-esteem amongst other problems led me to discover my passion for helping others to do the same.

In 2006 I discovered a motivation to find out the secret of a better life. I discovered a great deal about myself and for a while felt okay but it was only ever temporary. I became a self-help book junkie. I thought the answer must be out there if I could just read one more book I will surely find the answer.

Through a friend I was introduced to a very effective form of therapy that for me changed everything. At the time I remember feeling a little robbed, robbed of my time, my happiness and my life. The answers I had been searching for all along were within me.

I was so taken aback by the powerful transformation, I felt I needed to learn more about therapy. 

I decided to train as a clinical hypnotherapist and with some straight-to-the-point, nurturing, understanding and guidance, I made huge changes in my life. I continued my training with a Harley Street practitioner in London and then Manchester and continued my training in Toronto Canada ultimately qualifying as a Clinical Hypnotherapist.

And today I help people just like me, normal, everyday people just trying to get along in life. My horrific battle with anxiety enabled me to help hundreds of people escape the grips of anxiety.

As I sit writing this my Anxiety Unplugged program has helped over a 1000 people become anxiety free. And who would have thought that my story today would motivate others to follow in my footsteps.

Looking back to those dark dark days where I thought life was coming to an end it was actually a new beginning.  

Very often in life the worst things that happen to us can lead us to new places and understandings. My story has helped so many other people realise they can make changes, so to my anxiety I am forever grateful.

If you are struggling with anxiety or would like to start a career helping others feel free to get in touch

Contact Me .

 

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